


My Soul Does Wait

by snowynight



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Fal-tor-pan, Gen, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowynight/pseuds/snowynight
Summary: Spock thinks he is fine after fal-tor-pan, but he finds a gap between him and his captain that he is unsure how to or whether he can cross





	My Soul Does Wait

**Author's Note:**

  * For [badly_knitted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/badly_knitted/gifts).



The fal-tor-pan has not been done since ages past, and then, only in legend so Spock was considered a singular case even among experienced Vulcan healers. They tried their best helping Spock to recover his mind from death, and informed him that his re-training was successful, or as successful as it could be.

His mother once asked how he felt, and he he answered that he felt fine. However, he discovered that the definition of "fine" was complicated than he expected.

It took him a short time to adapt to his dual post of first officer and science officer. His technical and scientific knowledge remained intact, and his body remembered his station.

It was more difficult to learn to live and work with humans again. His former crewmates were all decent competent people, but initially he found it hard to relate to their thinking, but with time he was adapted to commanding a mostly-human crew.

However, one human remained his greatest challenge.

Captain Kirk was his captain and friend. He sacrificed his ship and son to save him, and his name was the first thing Spock remembered. During his recovery most of Spock's adult personal memory centred around him, showing how important the captain was in his past life. However, Spock could not recall the emotional connection nor personal significance of his memory. His past was like old faded camera film, with gaps that he wondered whether he could fill.

The captain was patient with him after their return from twentieth century. They enjoyed chess matches, shared meals and intelligent conversations together, which Spock understood were all part of human friendship.

Even so, something unnameable but familiar stirred whenever he looked in the captain's eyes. He felt warmth under the captain's regard. More dangerously, he dreamed.

He stood by the captain's side, where he wanted most to stay as always, but he still craved something that should be obvious but beyond his reach.

Patience, Spock told himself, as he must took his recovery in stride, but the waiting tasted bitter when he wondered about the loss.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt: Any, Any, No choice but to be patient (http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/536943.html?thread=15886959#cmt15886959)


End file.
